Heaven Help Me

It is once again time for one of my most dreaded and horrible duties I have as a mom. It drains me physically and mentally every time I have to do it, and I swear every time I will take every measure to ensure that I don't have to do it anymore. But here we go again.

The Kid has a dentist appointment tomorrow.

I was never afraid of the dentist when I was young because he was my dad. I liked the "Mickey Mouse" gas (nitrous) he gave me, and I knew he wouldn't intentionally hurt me. (Although there was that one time I groaned as he was pulling a loose baby tooth and he said to his hygienist, "Don't mind her. She always complains." Bastard.)

(Side note: I grew up mostly in the 80s so dental regulations weren't exactly adhered to. Or passed yet. My sister, who was around 14 or 15 years old, spent her summer vacation acting as my dad's hygienist. She did a good job...until I came in for a filling. Back then, dentists used the silver fillings that had to set for ten minutes or so. After my dad filled my cavity, he instructed my sister to keep the suction tube in my mouth until he returned from checking another patient. Long story short - I started playing with the filling with my tongue...it slipped down my throat...my sister went after it with the suction tube...and did NOT retrieve the filling. My dad came back in, and we acted like nothing was amiss. That was the last time he left us alone during my dental visits.)

Anyballs, The Kid HATES the dentist. And when I say hate, I mean he would rather chop off his arms and legs and be a flopping bloody torso than go to the dentist. The last two times he had to have x-rays it took five of us holding him down to get the pictures. FIVE.

I don't know why he's so afraid. He can never come up with a valid answer when I ask him. You would think he'd be flossing every night to avoid the dentist, right? NOT. Hence, our pending visit tomorrow to get a cavity filled.

Perhaps when the hygienist isn't looking I'll sneak a whiff off the Mickey Mouse gas. Hell, I'm paying out the ass for it, and I'll probably need it more than The Kid does.

*Dear God, please be with me and The Kid tomorrow. Let the dentist appointment go smoothly and keep us all safe. Especially the poor hygienists. Amen.*