I just want to take a moment to joyously exalt the fact that I am a POOR SINGLE MOTHER AND PROUD OF IT!!!!
(Um, is it totally obvious I just filed my taxes?)
Friday, January 27, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!
I was raised with electric stoves but found a gas stove in the first house I bought. Although I had a bit of a learning curve when it came to gauging temperature by looking at the size of the flame, I loved my gas stove. It was hotter and faster than any electric stove I'd ever cooked on.
My new apartment has an electric stove but it's one where the cooktop is flat, black and shiny. I dig it...except when I'm stirring and realize I stirred my pan right off the burner. Ten minutes ago.
Anyhoo, I learned a NEW lesson today! Have you ever been to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you? You know when they squirt oil and light a match and WOOOOOO!!!! big flames shoot up in the air?
That's TOTALLY doable on a stove where the cooktop is flat, black and shiny. Personally, I have zero ambition to be a teppanyaki chef so it's safe to say I didn't intend to light my stove on fire. But it was kinda cool - until I realized I was going to have to put the fire out. All the tips firefighters taught us in grade school assemblies about putting out kitchen fires whirled through my head. Do I get baking soda? Do I find a pan lid? Where's that damn fire extinguisher Mother bought for me two Christmases ago???
As I'm standing there wondering what to do, Mouth walks up and goes "whoo!" and blows it out.
"I was totally going to do that in a sec."
"Sure, Mom. I'll be upstairs if you set anything else on fire."
Little shit. Guess who isn't getting any of my burned potstickers???
My new apartment has an electric stove but it's one where the cooktop is flat, black and shiny. I dig it...except when I'm stirring and realize I stirred my pan right off the burner. Ten minutes ago.
Anyhoo, I learned a NEW lesson today! Have you ever been to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook in front of you? You know when they squirt oil and light a match and WOOOOOO!!!! big flames shoot up in the air?
That's TOTALLY doable on a stove where the cooktop is flat, black and shiny. Personally, I have zero ambition to be a teppanyaki chef so it's safe to say I didn't intend to light my stove on fire. But it was kinda cool - until I realized I was going to have to put the fire out. All the tips firefighters taught us in grade school assemblies about putting out kitchen fires whirled through my head. Do I get baking soda? Do I find a pan lid? Where's that damn fire extinguisher Mother bought for me two Christmases ago???
As I'm standing there wondering what to do, Mouth walks up and goes "whoo!" and blows it out.
"I was totally going to do that in a sec."
"Sure, Mom. I'll be upstairs if you set anything else on fire."
Little shit. Guess who isn't getting any of my burned potstickers???
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Sunday, January 8, 2012
Duh!
Last night, Mouth was rolling around the living room floor making shooting noises and talking to himself. After a few minutes, I said, "What in the world are you doing?" He replied:
"I'm using my imagination. DUH!!!"
Man, I love that little weirdo.
"I'm using my imagination. DUH!!!"
Man, I love that little weirdo.
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Thursday, January 5, 2012
Random Conversations
Mother: "I just have to throw my coat on and I'll be there - oh. Oh my..."
Me: "What? What's wrong?"
Mother: "..."
Me: "Mom? Mom, what's wrong???"
Mother: "I just looked in the mirror. I look like Nick Nolte's mugshot."
Me: "Oh my..."
Me: "What? What's wrong?"
Mother: "..."
Me: "Mom? Mom, what's wrong???"
Mother: "I just looked in the mirror. I look like Nick Nolte's mugshot."
Me: "Oh my..."
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