Resolutions and Other Bullshit

Well, here we are again: the end of the year and ready to start anew. And even though this means we are getting closer to the Mayan DAY OF DOOM, I'm looking forward to putting this shit-filled shitty year behind me.

I'm not much on resolutions. It's like saying, "I'll start my diet on Monday so I can destroy my body this weekend" and then Monday comes and the only thing that sounds good with your weekend hangover is a greasy cheeseburger and fries.

SO. No resolutions from me. But I do hope 2011 has better mojo because if I have another suck-ass year like this one, I'm totally turning into one of those crazy assholes who stand on street corners preaching about the impending DAY OF DOOM...and hoping it comes swift and painless.

I wish all of you good health, great wealth and much happiness in 2011.

(Actually, I just want all that for myself. But for you guys, I wish for more comments on here...)

Cheers!

Thinking That...

If your radiology job regularly entails administering IVs to patients, you shouldn't need to stick me three times only to say, "Oh well, two are blown. Hey Patty? Can you call Tammy??? It's okay, hon. I'm just calling the nurse. She's a pro."

THEN WHY WASN'T SHE IN HERE TEN MINUTES AND THREE STICKS AGO??????

Dickheads.

Merry Christmas!

The Kid: "This was the BEST Christmas ever! I still can't believe I got an Xbox 360 AND an iPod nano!"

Me: "Yes, it was. Boy, you would think I was working a good job and making a lot of money, huh? You should thank Grandma...she took care of us this Christmas."

The Kid: "You know, Grandma can be seriously annoying but dude, she's like a fairy. She makes things happen."

Indeed she does.

Merry Christmas!

Retro Christmas

I'm one of those parents who constantly remind their children how good they have it. For instance, television. When I was growing up, we had 13 channels - one of them was a "U" and at least three of them aired only news! Internet? HA! Not even invented yet.

"Woooooow. How did you survive your childhood???"

I ask myself that same question at most family holiday dinners.

This year The Kid is begging for an Xbox 360. He is so pathetic in his quest that he has started sniffing around the presents under the tree saying, "Do I smell an Xbox 360? I think I smell an Xbox 360!!!"

Tonight I was at the grocery store, and I was passing through the Christmas aisle when something caught my eye. Something familiar...

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

It's an Atari.

Yes! The old game system in all its janky-ass, stiff-joystick self! They're bringing it back! I'm SO SO getting this for The Kid for Christmas! Can you imagine his face when he opens THAT present???

And I would buy only one game - Pong. Oh yeah. He wouldn't be able to figure it out! The boy could probably rebuild your computer but a classic like Pong??? No way. His brain would explode with the simplicity of it.

Nah, that would be too cruel of me. He would KILL ME if Santa gave him the Atari versus Xbox.

Then again, he has it soooo good. And he DOES need stuff to tell his therapist one day...

There's A Reason

As I think back on my life, I divide it into two parts: Before Zane (BZ) and After Zane (AZ).

BZ, I was pretty selfish. Okay, I was REALLY selfish. Who wouldn't be? I had only myself to look after - so as long as I had a case of Ramen noodles and a short skirt for the bar scene, I was set!

BUT...a child changes everything. I was given every chance in life but could never make the right choices until I had The Kid. Suddenly it wasn't about me anymore. I remember the second night home with him - it was two in the morning, I was DEAD TIRED, and I looked into his wide eyes...and I apologized. I apologized for being a single mom and for not being able to give him a house with four bedrooms, three baths and a swimming pool. I realized then that my decisions directly affected this tiny little baby in my arms. And I swore to make the best choices for him.

There were a few people in my BZ life whom I ended up falling out of touch with. I looked back and realized I couldn't handle "real" relationships with people in my past because I was my own priority, and I probably deserved their animosity. I felt that I needed to make amends - as an adult and as a mother.

But, one by one, I realized there were reasons for these people to be out of my life. I may have handled it wrong BZ but the core reasons they were out of my life remained. They were still liars and cheaters and douchebags...oh my.

Where the hell is this going? I have no clue - other than to reassure myself that I need to trust my instincts and move on if necessary...as well as hang on to the good ones who have been with me through thick and thin.

Especially those who know I'm a hot mess.

And gift me a bottle of whiskey at Christmastime.

Thinking That......

Just realized today is Mother's birthday. Guess I should apologize for calling her an asshat this morning.

*sigh*