Checking Mouth's Facebook

A major sign of my child growing up was when he wanted to use my birthday to create a Facebook account. That should have been my first red flag.

But I went along with it. He had some classmates on Facebook, I figured I could HEAVILY monitor...so I agreed. According to Facebook, he's now 39 years old. He wasn't really into girls so I didn't have to worry about that so I thought, What kind of trouble could he get into with his friends?

Then he tried to friend me.

Oh HELL NO.

I drew the line at that one. But from time to time I'll log into his account (oh yes, Mama has the login info AT ALL TIMES) and monitor his Facebook activity. He doesn't post a lot- again, he's not really into girls yet...more into gaming so he's not on Facebook much. Then tonight I realized it had been quite a while since I checked into Mouth's Facebook account. So I logged in.

There wasn't much posting on his part but other kids ARE MEAN! They're all posting about their classmates being fat and stupid and teachers being ASSHOLES (yes, they were typing ASSHOLES) and it brought me back to the mean kids I knew in school. It felt good that my darling child wasn't a part of this nonsense!

And then I checked his private messages.

Apparently, he had been teasing a little girl at school who had a boyfriend. A 12-year-old with a BOYFRIEND is serious shit, ya know? So the boyfriend found out and apparently wasn't very happy with Mouth. The following snapshot is an exchange of their confrontation.


Bad kid: "Wanna fight?'

Mouth: "Ya les go bro. Imma gonna PWN your ass!"

Bad kid: "Omfg. OK. Monday."

Mouth: "Nah, I'm busy on Monday. Gonna be doing something at recess then. I'm open Tuesday."


Hahahahaha!!!! Although I am APPALLED my child would agree to a fight, the reschedule due to recess activities CRACKS. ME. UP.

Granted, I called him down from his room to lecture him on the better ways of solving disagreements without fighting but a small part of me was proud he stuck up for himself...AND postponed the fight due to prior recess commitments.

Holy hell. I'm still tearing up from laughing!