Foto Friday

The Kid ordered root beer.

"Look Mommy....it looks like beer! I'm drinking beer! Take a picture of me drinking beer!!!!"

I AM SO SCREWED.

Change

Today I received a "Save The Date" for a childhood friend's wedding. I'm so happy for her and can't wait for the event! Then a few hours later, I was told that one of my friends from college - who has a darling little boy - was expecting a little girl. I'm so excited for her!!! And then it hit me.

My life is boring. And I don't mean boring...I mean B.O.R.I.N.G. Is it because I'm not getting married or having a baby? (And can I just say thank GOD I'm not having a baby!!!!) I'm not sure. Perhaps it's because I've been out of work for 15 months. Holy crap. I just realized that it's been 15 months! Doesn't seem that long. Maybe it was the naps that made it pass quickly...

So for the past 15 months I have been a stay-at-home mom (which is definitely a HUGE task, stay-at-home mommies!) but I'm used to trying to raise a child and maintain a house while working long hours. I have literally spent the last 15 months ON MY ASS.

Well, I guess now is a good time to have this epiphany. Summer is just beginning so I can take The Kid and do ANYTHING. ANYWHERE. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!

And I'm still sitting on my ass.

That's it. Starting tomorrow, I'm making a plan. We're doing something. Anything. I need a change. I WILL MAKE CHANGE HAPPEN. Yay!!!!!!!!

(But please God....just don't let me get pregnant. I can't handle that kind of change....)

Foto Friday

My child regularly tries to talk me into buying the crap peddled on infomercials.

The Kid: "But Mom, our cat NEEDS the EmeryCat board to groom her claws while she plays!"

Me: "No, she doesn't. That's what our couch and curtains are for."

So it was no surprise to me that he spent the better part of a year trying to sell me on the "Snuggie".

The Kid: "But Mom, it's the blanket with sleeves! I can stay cozy and warm at sporting events!"

Me: "Because you DO go to a lot of outdoor sporting events, huh???" (end sarcasm)

I stood my ground well and avoided having the Snuggie keep my arms and feet warm. Until Christmas. That's when Mother bought The Kid a Snuggie.

Whatever. But I am DRAWING THE LINE with the Shake Weight.

Thinking That.....

The kid is starting summer vacation next week. That is SO going to screw up my nap schedule DAMMIT.

Foto Friday

I like to think I'm a pretty independent woman. I've moved to two different states all by myself, I own my own house, and I've raised my child pretty much on my own. My last job was in governmental affairs so I had to travel to DC a few times by myself - no big deal.

At one point, my job required me to travel to New York City. I was excited - my mother, not so much. "You're a woman, and you're going to New York City by yourself???" Puh-lease. I once moved myself across the country to Arizona and survived being attacked/killed/corrupted by any Mexicans (although I did have a child by one, but that's another story...)

I took this photo about ten seconds after I stepped out of the train station in New York. Right after I snapped it, I thought, "Holy shit. I am in New York City. By myself.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING????????"

Thinking That.....

You've been watching your television with the "03" in the corner of the screen for three weeks because you can't figure out how to get it off? Seriously?

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE A TELEVISION WITHOUT DIALS AND/OR KNOBS. In fact, get rid of that cell phone too because it drives me NUTS when your ASS CALLS ME and all I hear is you talking to Grandma.

Happy Mother's Day!

I hate to rehash an old post but this pretty much sums up my motherhood experience.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who have sacrificed so much for your spawn...as well as those who are pregnant for the first time (and probably shouldn't be reading this blog as it may compel you to seriously consider adopting out. Or becoming an alcoholic.)