Who Needs a CAKE Anyway?

Next weekend is Mouth's 14th birthday. We're trying to come up with a cake. Grocery store cakes creep me out. I mean, look at this cake:

There are so many things wrong with this cake. The serial killer handwriting, the off-center placement, the PIPING ALONG THE EDGE!!! I...I just...I can't even look at it.

I made a Battlefield 3 cake a few years back that wasn't too bad, actually! But I about slit my wrists with the icing knife trying to get that damn cake done.

Not professional but not bad for someone on her fourth glass of Chardonnay at 2:00 in the morning. Mouth loved it because I made it for him. Awww!

Yeah, I'm not doing it again. So far, we have deduced that Mouth:

• doesn't like sports
• loves gaming but doesn't have a fave game
• loves music but not a particular band
• plays games on a computer (Xbox and Play Stations are SOOOO 2012 MOM)
• doesn't have a fave color but is open to blue
• doesn't care what the cake looks like but wants it to be "cool"

Awesome. So helpful. Someone suggested putting a big ol' pic of ME on it and be like, "Well, you said you didn't care what your cake looked like..."

Very tempting.

What are some of the best cakes you've ever seen? Some of the worst? And post pictures so we can all enjoy!

Happy Birthday!

Thirteen years ago today my life changed for the better (well...MOST days it's for the better!) Not much of a difference having a teenager in the house as he's acted like a 21-year-old frat guy since about age 10.

Happy birthday, Mouth. Ted and I love ya!

Happy Birthday Stinkpot!

Twelve years ago today, I gave birth to a precious baby boy whom I swore was going to be the next David Beckham. Instead, my baby boy has blossomed into an interesting mix of Van Gogh and The Rolling Stones. And I couldn't be more proud of him.

Happy birthday, Mouth!!!!

(Due to procrastination, I didn't have time to order a cool cake. So I baked one myself. Needless to say, the Cake Boss guy's job is totally safe.)

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

My phone rang as I was driving to work this morning. It was Mother, of course. I JUST left her so she knows I'm not there yet...and she would never put me in jeopardy by distracting me while driving so it must be an emergency, right????

Mother: "How do you turn your Christmas lights on?"

Me: (Really???) "You plug them in."

Mother: "They ARE plugged in!"

Me: "Apparently not, since they AREN'T on!"

Mother: "Hey! Be nice. Today's my birthday."

Me: "Hey! Birthdays are no excuse for ignorance. Wait, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not saying you're ignor-"

Mother: CLICK.

Well, shit. Happy birthday, Mom!

Another One Bites The Dust

Today is my birthday. I spent it in the ER (working, thankfully) so it kept my mind from thinking about how close I'm getting to 40. *chills*

So tonight, I will celebrate my 29th birthday in style - with a glass of wine (yes, only one as I have to work tomorrow) and a long, hot bath. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Unless I was actually turning 29. Then I'd totally be at a bar, slamming the birthday shots everyone was buying for me because 20-somethings can drink all night and still make it into work the next day with no problem.

Those little assholes don't know how good they have it. WAIT TIL YOU TURN 30.