Closer to Normal

I love expensive stuff.

Back when I worked for the Yellow Beast (i.e., the Corporate Devil) I had a very well-paying job. But I hated it with all my heart so I self-medicated.

With expensive goodies.

Purses, shoes, makeup, jewelry - I treated myself to pricey goodies on a regular basis.

When I lost my job, I had to lose the expensive taste as well. Out went the purses and shoes, the Tiffany credit card was cut in half, and I began buying "economical" beauty products. However, I found that more often than not "economical" was poorspeak for "shitty".

I'm sure some of you will say, "Nay, nay! Oil of Olay is economical AND wonderful!" I agree. I actually used Oil of Olay when I went poor. It did just fine. But Clarins IT IS NOT.

Now that I'm back in the belly of the beast, and therefore having actual REAL money in my checking account, I've been slowly restocking my beauty products to their original labels (my hair already sent me a Christmas card thanking me profusely for getting rid of the Pantene and buying the pricey glossing stuff I used to own.)

Today was time for me to restock my face care system. Buh bye Miss Olay! I used to switch off between Erno Laszlo and Clarins but my skin has changed a bit in the last few years and Erno is a little heavy so I decided to go with Clarins. I trotted my happy little dehydrated face to the Clarins counter and waited. And waited. But alas no Clarins chick.

"Hello? Bonjour???" (Btw, the first language of Clarins products is French. What??? I told you I liked pricey!)

No answer. Then I heard someone say, "Y'all need some help over there?" It was the Clinique girl. I told her I was interested in browsing the Clarins line and she said, "Oh honey, I don't think Fifi comes in tonight." (And no, I don't think her actual name was Fifi. However it was my first hint that I was gonna love this lady!)

Fifi never showed up so Christy the Clinique lady helped me as best she could in selecting the appropriate products for my skin. We actually had a blast trying to Google translate and decode the labels. And, bless her heart, she tried awfully hard to sell me on Clinique's 3-step system...whatever that is.

I felt bad so I finally had to lay it on the line for her. I said, "Christy, I know Clinique is a good product. Heck, I used it all through high school. But I'm gonna be honest with you. I personally believe Clarins is made from unicorn tears and leprechaun piss because when you put it on your face you just want to CRY it feels so good!!!"

That's when Christy knew she was dealing with a nutjob. But I got my Clarins!

What's next? Oh! I need my Tiffany credit card back!!! Well, maybe not. I did learn some lessons whilst broke as a hooker on Sunday.

Besides, I can always pull the pieces of my old Tiffany card out of its baggy and reminisce.

*sniff* I'm starting to feel sad. I'm gonna go wash my face. Again.