Vomit, Diarrhea and Boogers, Oh My!

In the car, driving to The Kid's drum lesson:

Kid: "Ewww...there's ear wax on my ear plug. Get it off!"

Me: (While driving, I take the aforementioned cooty-filled ear plug, lick my finger, clean off the wax, and hand it back to him.)

Kid: "Wow. You really are a mom."

Me: "Huh?"

Kid: "You really are a mom for doing that for me."

Dude....you have NO IDEA how many of your body fluids have landed on me in the last ten years.