So I was watching Ellen today (my first foray into daytime tv - no soaps yet) and she talked about goals. Her new goal is to be on the cover of O Magazine...which should go over well with Miss O since she's the only one ever on the cover.
Regardless, Ellen has inspired me to find a goal. On the same episode, she included a "Gold Digger" spot (where someone gets into a booth full of money and tries to grab as much as they can as the money is blowing around them.) She sent the booth to the apartment of a girl who is working 2 jobs to put herself through college and lives in a 1-bedroom apartment with her mother and sister. After the girl stuffed her shirt full of money, Ellen told her she was giving all the money in the booth ($2000) to the girl - as well as a flat screen tv. The girl started crying. She hugged the PA holding the mike and was in a daze....all for $2000 and a tv.
Who wouldn't want to make someone that happy? It completely fills my heart to do something for someone - especially someone who doesn't expect anyone to do anything for them. I was at our ghetto WalMart once and a black girl in front of me had a pair of sneakers in her cart for her son, who looked to be about 4 years old. When the cashier scanned them at $20, the girl said she thought they were on sale. Since they weren't, she asked the cashier to take it off the bill. I've been that broke before, right out of college. Now I spend so money on crap for my son...so I asked the cashier to put the shoes on my bill. I caught up to the girl and gave her the shoes. I told her that her little boy was darling and reminded me of my son (other than the fact that he was black...but I didn't mention that.) She had a stunned look on her face and thanked me. It just made my day to help someone else. (Of course, she probably sold the shoes for crack or something but I'll try to give her the benefit of the doubt!)
My goal is to find a new "career" in which I can help people. No more selling my soul for the corporate money...it's not worth the stress other people put on me and not worth the karma I burn by imagining their slow painful deaths...usually at my hands.
I very well may be broke due to my decision but at least I will be happy with my life - and will be a positive role model for my spoiled son. I also hope someone like the current me will be in line behind me at WalMart the day I can't afford shoes for my son.
Or a bottle of wine for me.
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1 comment:
what a perfect time for your blog to come about. I am having a total freak out right now and anxiety attack thinking about the decision that I have to make either tomorrow or on monday. Money may be the root of all evil, but I need it to pay the bills, to feed my sons, husband, dogs and to keep the fucking lights on. I don't want to make a horrible decision on this job move and not be happy-AGAIN!!! I feel extrememly over stressed with another on the way and scared out of my mind that I'm doing the wrong thing by making this move-but I am so extaordiarily unhappy where I am at, I am selling myself one way or the other. I feel like a horrible mother, I feel like a failure of a wife, I feel like I am the cause of making money feel evil and the eye of the tornadoe of stress...Sometimes when you feel so good at heart, your road seems to be much harder traveled. You have opportunity staring you directly in the eye, telling you "bring it on hooker"..take it and run. Make a completely fly off the seat of your pants move and see what happens. You are only going to be smarter for it in the long run, and it could be the best mistake you ever made...Power and strength and balls to you my dear friend.
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