My Foray into Buddhism

When I was 19 years old, I was in my sister's wedding in Santa Rosa, CA. The morning my mom and I headed back to glorious Illinois, we had to catch a 5 a.m. shuttle at a hotel. For some reason, I was panicky. I'd recently developed some problems with panic attacks but thought I had put that behind me. It was still dark, the area was spooky, and we were waiting for Jose Blow to pick us up in a van. I wasn't calm.

There was a family nearby also waiting for the shuttle. They were on their way to Yosemite for a long weekend of hiking and communing with nature. The mom was Asian, the three children were young, and the dad was a white guy - and resembled a hippie...but in preppy clothing. Apparently my nervousness was noticeable to him (could it have been me sucking my thumb and talking to myself in the third person???) because he stopped me and said, "Wow...you are really wound up. Have you ever tried meditating?" I never forgot his words. When I returned to Illinois, I got books on meditation but - did I mention I returned to Illinois? Needless to say, there weren't too many meditation resources advertised in the ol' Peoria area. My books didn't exactly inspire me, and I fell asleep twice while meditating. So of course I quit.

Fast forward to now. Can't remember what planted the seed in my head (perhaps repressed memories of my Yosemite hippie?) but I decided to Google meditation - which led me to Buddhism. Wikipedia (which is the GOD'S HONEST TRUTH DAMMIT!) said the reason many people have such a misconception about Buddhism is because Buddhists don't go around preaching their beliefs and trying to save people. They are happy to teach someone who requests information but you won't see them in the airport, handing out flowers. The more I read, the more I liked. For those who have not been laid off and therefore don't have a sh*tload of time on their hands, let me explain Buddhism in a nutshell: It's all about being good to others while trying to calm your mind - because the mind is a powerful creator of stress in our lives. Ever wonder how some people freak out at the littlest thing and others can handle the world? All in the mind bbs.

I decided to tell my mom about my Buddhism exploration. There was no way she'd be supportive - so pray tell why would I tell her? Just for sh*ts and giggles. She's from Pekin. Her mind is about as open as a...okay, I can't even come up with an analogy because she is so closed minded. Anyway, I told her. At first, she was silent. Then she said, "Don't they worship that fat guy?" I explained to her they don't worship Buddha - they pay homage to him for relaying his teachings. She was still quiet so I asked, "You're afraid I'm going to shave my head and blow up airplanes, aren't you?"

"REGAN!!!"

I let her read a few passages in my Buddhism for Dummies book (yes, I said it. I have a few books written by the Dalai Lama and they are a little over my head right now. The Buddhism for Dummies book is quite good....) She's more open to the idea of Buddhism now but made me promise I wouldn't start worshipping fat men.

Unless of course they're rich.