Thinking That.....

I should have waited to do my Yoko Ono impression until I knew no coworkers were behind me.

Lesson learned.

Ancient Chinese Secret

This is how my coworker eats her french fries.

She's from China and is very dainty. She unabashedly wears fur and confidently wears black pants with brown foxhide boots. She snacks on bamboo and brings her own lunch - which usually looks (and smells) like dead worms or shriveled up testicles. Her fave drink is whiskey and green tea...go figure.

We have to explain words and phrases we say, like "get a backbone!" or "get rid of that guy - he's desperate and creepy!" or "don't be a tease!" I especially enjoyed hearing my coworkers explain the phrase "what a douchebag!" to her.

She's a very sweet, unassuming girl...so it was quite a surprise when we found out about her black market business where she employs people here in America to buy Apple products so she can sell them in China at a 300% profit. She told us she wants to shoot something - ANYTHING -  because hunting is illegal in China. And she doesn't understand why we CAN'T JUST BRIBE the U.S. government to get our project filed with the SEC and be done with it!

She scares me a little.

I think she's a ninja.

And I want to be JUST like her when I grow up!

Note To Self

I probably should have Googled the difference between 'Ben Wa balls' and 'Baoding balls' before I scared the shit out of my coworker who just received a gift from our Chinese coworker....

Randomly Heard

"I don't wear a sweater vest often but when I do, I feel like a MAGICIAN."

I'd like to introduce you to my coworker, German. I have a feeling y'all are gonna get to know him pretty well.