Ucky Ucky Poo Poo

Guys. I get that you can grown facial hair. Woo go you! But just a word of advice from a single girl looking to mingle...

Wait to grow the beard until you're married.

I can only only imagine how liberating it must feel to quit shaving and grow all the hair out on your face. Hell, I personally cherish wintertime when I don't have to shave my legs every three days. It's fab to see what the human body does when unbridled, yes?

Um, yeah. A beard is a WHOLE other animal.

I'm sorry but...it's gross. It's SO NASTY I can't even begin to tell you. And your girlfriend may be all, "Awww, you look cute!" No, you don't. You look gross and ucky. And those girlfriends who tell you it looks cute are desperate to be married. They'll say anything to get the ringy on the fingy - even if they're throwing up in their mouth a little bit every time they see that NASTY ASS BEARD on your face. Especially if the carpet doesn't match the drapes.

SO...stay clean until you're married. Once you get the whole legally-binding-til-death-do-us-part thing going on, then go on which your bad self and grow that shit out. But I guarantee you your now-wife won't be so enamored with the fuzz.

Just sayin'.