And reading. And reading.
I dug mysteries growing up - Nancy Drew, Mary Higgins Clark, anything with a dead body rocked my world. A few months ago, I downloaded a free Kindle app from Amazon onto my phone so I'd always have a book with me. However, because I'm broke I only download free books - which is a real crapshoot as most free books are free for a reason.
Side note: I once read a book so bad that I left a review on the Amazon site. (Reviews are extremely common and usually determine whether I read a book or not. I check out the stars readers gave the book and read a couple of blurbs to see if it's my cup of tea.) So I left my review that really truly wasn't that scathing. I gave it one star and basically said the characters weren't really developed, gave an example, and suggested maybe the five-star reviewers were family and/or friends of the author because I can't see the book being five star. The author WENT NUTS. He kept leaving batshit crazy comments, cussing me out, saying I was just a failed writer who wanted to be like him...yada yada yada. I was like, I don't want to be like you...you suck! Then he would delete the comments - that way, I would see them because Amazon would automatically send them to me but the rest of the world wouldn't see them because he had deleted it. He was obviously unstable - which I detailed in a second review comment on his book. His name is Buck Winthrop. Obviously the screen name of a failed porn star...and I'd recommend avoiding his book at all costs. Douchebag.
Anyhoo, I got to the point where I needed a GOOD BOOK but I didn't have the funds to visit a bookstore. Then I remembered....the library! I hadn't been in one of those since college but I knew there was one somewhere in my little armpit town.
I started on the Michael Connelly crime/mystery book series featuring Detective Harry Bosch. I highly recommend the whole series. Even though Harry was a middle-aged man who chain smoked and sported a moustache, I enjoyed his story and was continually enrapt with his escapades. I blew through the whole series within a month or so. 4 out of 5 stars.
After finishing the Bosch books, I decided I wanted something a bit more educational...or at least something that might help me win Tuesday Night Trivia. I put a call out on Facebook asking for recommendations on autobiographies and such. I got a lot of great feedback. Unfortunately, my local Armpit Library only had a few of the suggestions. Below are three bios and my scholarly review (read: snarkiness) of each.
"Most Talkative" by Andy Cohen
As is pretty evident to anyone who remotely knows me, I am a Bravo whore. I love everything reality-especially if it's on Bravo. Andy Cohen is Executive VP of Development and Talent as well as the host of Watch What Happens Live (WWHL) and the Real Housewives' Reunion Specials. I was shocked when I first realized the same WWHL Andy was a VP at Bravo but was floored after I read his "path to the top." Essentially, Andy has been an overactive, inappropriate gay Jewish boy his whole life (well, the gay Jewish thing is sort of a constant but you know what I mean.) He's really quite lucky he's landed where he has because he was one sequined suit away from being a backup dancer in a Liberace revival in Vegas. And I'm glad he made it because I LOVE HIM! 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.
"It Ain't All About The Cooking" by Paula Deen
I have a love/hate relationship with Paula but I saw her book on the shelf and wondered where the whole butter addiction stemmed from. Turns out she suffered from agoraphobia for years (as did I) and was dirt poor after leaving her alcoholic husband. She worked her little Southern ass OFF to open her own restaurant, then worked just as hard to get to the iconic cooking goddess status that she now holds (although she never explains her fascination with butter except to chalk it up to her Southern upbringing.) I have newfound respect for her...but I still can't watch more than ten minutes of her tv show. 3 out of 5 stars.
"Stories I Only Tell My Friends" by Rob Lowe
I grew up in the 80s with Rob Lowe posters on my wall (along with Rick Springfield) so I was stoked to read his book. Unfortunately, Rob's book consisted mostly of the details of his acting career. A few interesting tidbits but if these are the stories he only tells his friends, then he's boring! This guy probably had one of the most interesting sex lives in the 1980s and 1990s. I vaguely remember him being involved in some sort of sextape scandal - I was excited to hear his side. Nothing. Totally glossed over his scandal. I had to Google it to see what happened. Good Lord...I wanted details! Okay, understandable if he wanted to protect ex-girlfriends and didn't want to give juicy details but you gotta give me something - I mean, I drove all the way to the library to borrow this thing. You owe me more than that! 2 1/2 out of 5 stars.
That's as far as I got because now I have a job! I start next week so my obsessive book reading days are likely over. However, I still have a few books on my wish list:
- "Hell's Angel: The Life and Times of Sonny Barger and the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Club" by Sonny Barger
- "Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang, Bang" by Chelsea Handler
- "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule (a Ted Bundy story)
Oh, and no need to include any of Mr. Winthrop's other books. If he has more than one. Which is doubtful. Highly doubtful.
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