Foto Friday

This is about the time The Kid decided he wanted to be Jewish.

And So It Begins

The neighbor is mowing his yard.

Remembering.....

It's St. Patrick's Day? Oh yeah....I vaguely remember celebrating it by drinking green concoctions. Then I had a child. Now the only green concoction I drink is Nyquil. And only when I'm out of alcohol.

Thinking.....

If you can't handle bratty kids, then DON'T BECOME AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER. The prison is always looking for brawny, bitchy guards.

Seriously.

Foto Friday

Stone Cold Kitty

Ah, boys...

Me: "There's a new coffee shop in town called 'The Bean'. You wanna try it sometime?"

The Kid: "Sure."

Me: "Cool."

The Kid: "Is it really called 'The Bean'?"

Me: "Yes..."

The Kid: "Does a guy named Frank own it?"

Me: "Not sure. Why?"

The Kid: "Cause it would be funny. Frank, who owns 'The Bean', has a frank and beans. FRANK AND BEANS!!!!!!!"


Never thought when I felt the first little flutter of life in my stomach that my future would include penis jokes.

*sigh*

I Will Survive

I am a notoriously HORRIBLE sleeper. Always have been. However, my current lack of gainful employment has exacerbated this condition because it affords me plenty of nap time during the day.

But I don't mind because I watch some of the freakyish shit on late night tv. It's fantastic! Last night, I experienced the behind-the-scenes real lives of porn stars (including an interview with Buck Angel, a heavily tattooed, mustached, cigar smoking porn star...who has a vagina. That's right. Buck was born "Susan" but through hormones and surgery has completely changed genders through the years. Well, almost completely...) On tap for tonight? Paula Deen's Disco Party. That's right...a full hour of Paula Deen (in a dark wig??? I don't know why either) cooking with GLORIA GAYNOR.

GLORIA GODDAMN GAYNOR.

They're making chicken wings smothered in a white mushroom gravy over a bed of saffron rice. Apparently not only can Gloria Goddamn Gaynor cook, Gloria Goddamn Gaynor can COOK.

Almost makes the hot skewers in my ears not hurt so bad....y'alllllllll!