I Will Survive

I am a notoriously HORRIBLE sleeper. Always have been. However, my current lack of gainful employment has exacerbated this condition because it affords me plenty of nap time during the day.

But I don't mind because I watch some of the freakyish shit on late night tv. It's fantastic! Last night, I experienced the behind-the-scenes real lives of porn stars (including an interview with Buck Angel, a heavily tattooed, mustached, cigar smoking porn star...who has a vagina. That's right. Buck was born "Susan" but through hormones and surgery has completely changed genders through the years. Well, almost completely...) On tap for tonight? Paula Deen's Disco Party. That's right...a full hour of Paula Deen (in a dark wig??? I don't know why either) cooking with GLORIA GAYNOR.

GLORIA GODDAMN GAYNOR.

They're making chicken wings smothered in a white mushroom gravy over a bed of saffron rice. Apparently not only can Gloria Goddamn Gaynor cook, Gloria Goddamn Gaynor can COOK.

Almost makes the hot skewers in my ears not hurt so bad....y'alllllllll!