Anyone there??? *chirp chirp*

I'll admit...it's been a little quiet here at Riches to Rags but we've had some big changes. I moved on from my suck-ass-shitty-ass-well-paying-shitty-ass-long-commute-shitty-boss-shit-shit-shitty-cubicle job to a sweet little job with health insurance and vacation days and a good team of people. I'm also close to home so I can leave for lunch and go play with Ted! I took a (huge) pay cut for this sweet little job but they plan to grow it. "Growth = raises" is my new mantra. *OHMMMM*

If nothing else, I'm saving around $70 a week in gas. Yeah...I own a tank so that's good. Plus, it's at a car dealership and Mama NEEDS A NEW CAR!!!

Unfortunately, it's not a BMW dealership. Mama has champagne taste on that beer budget.

*OHMMM*

Bee tee dubs, I'm not ballsy enough to sell cars. I'm part receptionist/part social media expert/part superwoman. I've finished my first week at work and below are my observations:

1. I love working in an environment filled with mostly men. No bitchy female PMS drama.

2. I've twice asked my co-workers if I was being "Punk'd". Gotta get used to working with the general public again.

3. Car salesman are like little girls when they don't get their way. But it's cool because all is good by the end of the day. No hair pulling, no name calling (well...maybe a few "dickheads" are thrown around but that's typical of ANY workplace) and all is forgiven by the end of the day.

4. The customer comes first so we all work together to get that sale - even if I don't personally get a commission (ohmmmm....)

5. Week 2 will include me INSISTING they pull the offending "Women Shoppers" link off their website. It includes recipes for bath salts and child rearing tips. (Okay...maybe I'll wait until week 3 to share how offended I was when I saw that page.)

6. I'm not innerested in car salesmen but Mama is looking out for a Sugar Daddy shoppin' for a Caddy!!! (Okay, that sorta negates my pro-women stance in number 4 but still...keeping my options open.)

Strap in, folks. I have a feeling this is gonna be a fun ride!!!!

Throwback Thursday

In honor of my birthday boy who turned 2 years old yesterday, today's Throwback Thursday features Ted as a baby. I love him so much - I didn't realize how empty my life was with out him!

Happy birthday, Ted!!!

Furry Little F*cker

Okay, I can admit when I'm an asshole.

I'm an asshole.

In the past, whenever I would see or hear friends lamenting about their dogs - whether they were sick or they died - I'd be all "Awww...so sad!" and then think, "Dude. It's a dog. Get over it, have kids, and feel REAL life."

And then I met Ted.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I love this stupid dog so much. He reminds me of my son when he was one year old, which was a HORRIBLE TIME because Mouth couldn't tell me if his tummy was hurting or if he was tired or whatever he was feeling. I was so happy when he started talking so I could help him feel better no matter what was bothering him.

And now I'm stuck in a perpetual time warp of loving a baby who can't tell me if his tummy hurts or if he's hungry (well, actually, he does a reallllly good job of telling me he's hungry!) I knew probably five years ago I wasn't going to have any more children, which I was cool with - and then I got Ted. He's my baby. My buddy. He follows me everywhere (except the bathroom - he stops at the threshold because he ain't dumb...he knows that's where BATHS HAPPEN.) He's sleeping against my leg as I type this blog.

I love him so much it breaks my heart because I don't ever want anything bad to happen to him...but I know I will likely outlive him. And I hate that I think about that, and I wish I could stop but he's my everything...you know?

Shit. It's probably time I started dating again, yes???

I Should Have Named My Dog "Treat"

I love my puppy so much but the dumb dog doesn't even know his own name. Well, I think he does - he just doesn't come when called. However, he does know three words:

Eat
Treat
Dog park

(Yeah, yeah...I know dog park is two words but to Ted, it's one word.)

Ted and I were chillaxing on the couch when I realized it was time for him to eat. You'll see on the video he doesn't respond when I say his name but EAT gets his furry little butt off the couch.

Notice the tongue smack that goes on as he's trying to hoist himself over my legs.

Neighborly Love

Hey, lady in the apartment two doors down from me...

Throwing food over your little back fence and into our neighbor's yard is tacky. So what if you're feeding rabbits or wildlife or whatever the hell lives in Betty's yard, Betty has to look out every night after dinner and see food thrown in her yard. You have a garbage can as well as a nasty boyfriend who looks like he would eat raw sewage if given the chance.

Rude, rude, tacky.

Btw, when I take my dog out back he licks clean your spatula that's hanging off your grill.

And I let him.

Welcome to the neighborhood.