Anyone there??? *chirp chirp*

I'll admit...it's been a little quiet here at Riches to Rags but we've had some big changes. I moved on from my suck-ass-shitty-ass-well-paying-shitty-ass-long-commute-shitty-boss-shit-shit-shitty-cubicle job to a sweet little job with health insurance and vacation days and a good team of people. I'm also close to home so I can leave for lunch and go play with Ted! I took a (huge) pay cut for this sweet little job but they plan to grow it. "Growth = raises" is my new mantra. *OHMMMM*

If nothing else, I'm saving around $70 a week in gas. Yeah...I own a tank so that's good. Plus, it's at a car dealership and Mama NEEDS A NEW CAR!!!

Unfortunately, it's not a BMW dealership. Mama has champagne taste on that beer budget.

*OHMMM*

Bee tee dubs, I'm not ballsy enough to sell cars. I'm part receptionist/part social media expert/part superwoman. I've finished my first week at work and below are my observations:

1. I love working in an environment filled with mostly men. No bitchy female PMS drama.

2. I've twice asked my co-workers if I was being "Punk'd". Gotta get used to working with the general public again.

3. Car salesman are like little girls when they don't get their way. But it's cool because all is good by the end of the day. No hair pulling, no name calling (well...maybe a few "dickheads" are thrown around but that's typical of ANY workplace) and all is forgiven by the end of the day.

4. The customer comes first so we all work together to get that sale - even if I don't personally get a commission (ohmmmm....)

5. Week 2 will include me INSISTING they pull the offending "Women Shoppers" link off their website. It includes recipes for bath salts and child rearing tips. (Okay...maybe I'll wait until week 3 to share how offended I was when I saw that page.)

6. I'm not innerested in car salesmen but Mama is looking out for a Sugar Daddy shoppin' for a Caddy!!! (Okay, that sorta negates my pro-women stance in number 4 but still...keeping my options open.)

Strap in, folks. I have a feeling this is gonna be a fun ride!!!!

Random Thoughts

Just got back from the grocery store. Gone are the days when I could get $90 in groceries for $7. Now I pay $90.

DAMN YOU, GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT!!!!

Back In The Saddle Again

Quick recap for those just joining my blog: A little more than 3 1/2 years ago, I was laid off from my overly well-paid corporate job. In the interim, I worked part time in a Level 1 medical center emergency department (that I actually volunteered at once a week while I worked at my overly well-paid corporate job.) A month ago, a former coworker of mine swooped in and saved me from food stamps and hired me back into the corporate world. I was so thankful to have an income again. Although I hate the company I work for, I sold my soul ONCE AGAIN to the corporate devil in order to pay my 3-months-late cable and phone bills. My son was ecstatic because he missed having a good Christmas.

Fast forward to today.

It's ridiculous how much I'm being paid for what I do but it's always been like that for this company. I didn't take over someone's job - it was created for a new project so I pretty much had nothing to do the first few weeks. I just sat in my cubicle, staring at the walls, missing my puppy, and making money. Which was cool. Hell, I finished the whole "Hunger Games" trilogy in my first two weeks! Then the thoughts started.

What am I doing here? I'm not helping anyone but myself. But I desperately need money. How desperately? I've seen people die in the ER. I've comforted their families. I can't even tell you how many babies I've seen blue and pulseless because their well-meaning mamas wanted them to sleep with them. I saw my colleagues try to resuscitate a 9-month-old baby boy, only to have to call his time of death while he was wearing nothing but a diaper. I tried to entertain his 2-year-old brother while their mother sobbed over his body. Two weeks later she was charged with manslaughter because she shook her baby to death.

I was taught CPR at my corporate job because my boss thought it would look good on our annual evaluations. After they laid me off, I saw CPR performed in real life too many times. I learned that if you come into the ER with people pumping your chest, you likely won't live. (Well, there was one exception: A woman who dealt cards on our local casino boat collapsed due to an apparent heart attack. The EMTs jumped into action and attached a defibrillating device to her. She rolled into the ER conscious and scared. She was the only one I saw who ever survived a cardiac arrest.)

So I sit in my cubicle and listen to the people around me get upset over ignorant coworkers who don't understand their deadlines and won't work with them to MAKE THIS DAMN POWERPOINT PROJECT COME TOGETHER.

And I think of the 40-something dentist with tattoos who had a sudden heart attack in front of his family and lived for 3 days before succumbing. And I think of the eldery lady who turned her car in front of others and died on her daughter's birthday. And I think of the young girl and her boyfriend who brought in their unresponsive 1-year-old little girl. I sat with them because our pastoral services weren't there yet and listened to their story of not being able to wake the baby for some reason. I later saw both of them in our newspaper being arrested for abuse and manslaughter in her death. And I think of the Indian girl (whose husband works at my company) who died with her unborn daughter while 8 months pregnant. I never knew what happened to them, only that the baby had been passed for a while.

And I think I can't sit in a cubicle anymore because the world is bigger than these proverbial first-world problems. There are too many people out there whom I can comfort. I'm making more money than I deserve but I crave certain creature comforts that require money. And my baby wants Santa to bring him lots of presents. So I'm good. I'm good.

I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be okay with this.

I Love My Job

Dude. I'm not too sure your dreads properly highlight your little gray hoodie that's accented with flowers and rhinestones. Not to mention the fact that it's obviously sized for a six-year-old child.

Fat guy in a little coat.....

New Shoes

I got new shoes. But not just any old shoes...DANSKOS. Allow me to explain:

My current job requires me to walk an average of 10 miles per shift (how am I not a size 2 escapes me as well.) When I was first hired, I tried on Dansko shoes because that's what everyone wore. I tried a pair on and, honestly, it felt like I was walking on bricks. I thought, "What the hell do people see in these??? They mustn't have the high arches that I have." I then looked at the price of $145 and thought, "Suckers." I promptly went to our local running shoe mecca and stood on a special computer scale to see where I distribute my weight (turns out it's on the outsides of my feet.) They recommended a nice, albeit expensive, running shoe for my type of foot.

Fast forward six months, and my running shoes cashed out about two months ago. Every shift brings shin splint pain and me begging for a foot rub from Mouth (who only gives them if he wants something.) So I caved. I went out today and bought a pair of Danskos (but I DID find a bargain at $110 a pair.)

I still had the "walking on bricks" image in my head but I tried them on anyway. Oh my. THANK YOU BABY JESUS! Apparently my sneakers had squished down so much that these bricks felt like heaven. I don't work again until Thursday but I'm totally wearing them around the house because they are so fab.

They remind me...of this one time...when I GOT AN EPIDURAL...

I Love My Job

"Patient noted to be speaking to hand sanitizer container."

I Know I'm a Girl and Stuff But, Like, Um....EWWW?!?!?

Seriously, dude? I CANNOT believe you didn't feel the two-inch cockroach that just crawled across your chest while you were talking to me. It's totally like, hiding in your shirt right now. But I'm not sayin' anything cause you might brush it off where it'll crawl across my feet and I'll scream like the little prissy bitch that I am. And that will surely scare the other people.

And this is only day three. Ya gotta love working with the general public.

Back in the Saddle Again

I officially started the new job today. I have mixed feelings about it - on one hand, I miss being a stay-at-home mom and taking The Kid to school (okay, okay...and the naps.) But on the other hand, it's nice to have a reason to get out of my pajamas, wear makeup, and shower daily (c'mon people...the moms know what I'm talking about.)

And although I got lost no less than three times - and I think I broke a door - I had a great day. AND it's part time so you know what that means, right?

Still get to nap four days a week, baby.

Hell Hath Frozen Over

So......I got a job! Ironically, it's the job I volunteered for while I was making big money at my former job. I loved my time there, and now I'm getting paid for it!

The problem? I'm earning one quarter of what I was making in my last position. Yep, take what you make per month and throw away three-fourths of it. Hurts, doesn't it? But in the dark reality of minimum wage work there is one glorious shining bright spot about this new job:

I don't have to wear pantyhose.

BOOYAH!!!!!!