Texting....

A text conversation between Mother and I. Mother took her aunt to the ER because her leg was swollen and red and getting nastier by the day. My four years spent in the ER through volunteering and part-time employment qualifies me as a medical expert. OR SO THINKS MY FAMILY.

* Side note: Cellulitis is a skin infection that can be pretty nasty if left untreated.
* Side note #2: This may only be funny to those who are medically trained.

Mother: I think they're going to admit her for cellulitis. Is the flesh-eating virus called merca?

Me: No, and it's called MRSA. Why? Did they ask if she had a history of it? They ask that of everyone in the ER. It's not a big deal. It's an antibiotic-resistant diarrhea thing.

Mother: Yikes!

Me: They just need to know b/c if she has diarrhea they have to scrub their hands after touching her. It's hard to get rid of b/c of the antibiotic resistance.

Mother: Ah, thanks.

Mother: I'm not going to touch her anymore. Period.

Me: Oh geez. She doesn't have MRSA!!! She would have had diarrhea for like 3 months and be almost DEAD. Calm down.

Mother: .......

Me: They ask everyone who comes into the ER if they've ever been diagnosed with MRSA or C-Diff. It's standard.

Mother: Oh. Okay.

Me: Wait. C-Diff is the diarrhea thing. MRSA is the infected wound thing. GO WASH YOUR HANDS!!!

Mother: What??????

Me: This is what you get for asking me medical questions when I'm drunk on a Saturday night! AND because I'm not a nurse! You'd be better off Googling it.

Mother: You're officially out of the will. And if I die from MRSA, I'm leaving EVERYTHING to your sister.