The Difference Between Cats And Dogs

On my To-Do List for today: Brushing the teeth of one cat named Moe and one dog named Ted.

Tonight I learned that as long as I kept yelling "Good boy!!!" every 5 seconds, the dog was game.

Me: "Good boy!!!...........Good boy!!!...........Good boy!!!"
Ted: "Keep doing it! I'm a good boy! So whatever this is, I love it!"

I finished ALL of Ted's teeth.

I also learned that the cat does not respond to such encouragement as favorably as the dog.

Me: "Good boy!!!.............Goo-"
Moe: "Shut the f*ck up. I hate you and every single one of your ancestors on both sides of your sociopathic, dysfunctional and mostly bipolar families. You think because your father was a dentist that you can brush MY teeth? Bitch, please. You need to check yourself because you are TWO SECONDS away from having a set of bloody scratches down your cheek. Not get that toothbrush out of my mouth before I shove it down your esophagus, BITCH."

I finished three of Moe's top teeth.

You think I like this? Thursday nights used to be my drinking night until I became responsible for one kid, two cats, and a dog. NOW my Thursday nights consist of fighting the war against plaque.

Ungrateful little shit. Guess who isn't getting soft food when all of his teeth rot out of his head???