Things I Think About At 3 A.M.

* Why do we still have daylight saving time? Didn't Benjamin Franklin pitch that idea back in the day? Like, when most Americans farmed for a living? And before we had electricity? I don't know about you, but I'd rather go to work in the dark and have a few hours of light in the evening. Cause 5:00 pm sunsets SUCK.

* Why do I have to wait until noon to buy liquor on Sundays? I'm not driving drunk nor am I going to attend church while drunk. I'm over 21 years of age so WHY CAN'T I GET VODKA FOR MY SUNDAY MORNING BLOODY MARY AT 10 AM???

* Why can't I ever find a lid to fit the pot I'm cooking with? I can find every other frikkin' lid but the one I need.

* Why would you pay $300 for someone to pull one tooth? Seriously. A couple shots of whiskey, some pliers and a brave friend would do it for me. (Which is also prolly why I floss daily. Man, I need to steer Mouth toward dental school...)

* Why is it a person on food stamps is not able to buy a grocery store cooked rotisserie chicken but can freely splurge on gum and Red Bull? (Didn't know about the Red Bull until this morning. Thank you, State of Illinois!)

* Once again, HOW THE HELL IS TARA REID FAMOUS AND I'M NOT???

* I despise whistlers. Especially those who whistle pop tunes like Journey. Or Enrique Iglesias. I totally would have smacked that chick if I wasn't at work. Or if she wasn't my coworker.

* Why is it that when I spilled a glass of wine on my keyboard, I was lucky enough to only lose the function of my five, six and hyphen keys? (Yet I still bitch about not having them. In fact, this is a not(hyphen)so(hyphen)thinly veiled bullet point bitch about not being able to hyphenate or type my zip code.)