Painfully Honest

I went grocery shopping today for just a few things (which somehow magically turns into $120) and I self-checked out (natch) and braved the cold to the far end of the parking lot where I earlier found a shitty parking spot. I had just finished loading my grocery bags into the back of the Jeep when I looked down and noticed a stray package of eyeliner.

Shit.

It must have slipped through from the top of my cart and hidden itself in between my cases of water. I looked back at the store...AW, HELL NO. I'm freezing and OF COURSE not wearing a coat. The parking lot is packed....no way. I'm not going back. It's like what, five dollars???

Shit.

Have I mentioned my work experience includes gigs at two casinos and a bank? I can't steal. I just can't. This would weigh on my mind all night...or at least until three a.m. when I would throw a blanket over my scrub pajamas and go back and pay for the eyeliner because I can't sleep with bad karma on my conscience.

But I just got off work, and I wanna go home...

I drove up the aisle, which ended at the front door of the grocery store. NO, DAMMIT. It's cold, and there isn't anywhere close to park.

Crap. There's an open spot. First space, second row. DAMMIT. Where were you a half hour ago???

At least my conscience is clear this evening. No wonder I didn't do well in the corporate world....