I'm Totally Going To Hell

I'm so bad. I actually just told someone who is flying for the first time to text me during her flight so I could send encouraging texts like, "You can do it! You'll be fine!" and "You didn't wear lycra, did you? Cause that shit sticks to your skin while you're searching for the emergency exits!"

Good thing I'm already in therapy.

Puppy Lesson Number 2

I think Ted the pup is sexually confused and Moe the cat is gay. Which is OKAY in our household...except for our poor old female kitty Toph. She is still trying to figure out why a dog is humping a cat. And why the cat is okay with it.

And here I thought I'd only be responsible for Mouth's therapy. Now I have to budget for a dog and two cats?

I totally need a good job with benefits. STAT.