Randomly Heard

"I don't wear a sweater vest often but when I do, I feel like a MAGICIAN."

I'd like to introduce you to my coworker, German. I have a feeling y'all are gonna get to know him pretty well.

Randomly Heard

"I waxed your chin and you've washed my bangs. Now we're even!"

Randomly Heard

"I can't hear or see you very well. Can you come over here and take the Helen Keller out of my job? Thanks, hon."

Randomly Heard

"Moe, you're lucky you're a kitten because you don't have to go to school. School sucks balls."

*And no, he did NOT get that from me because I don't say "sucks balls." At least not in that context....

Randomly Heard

"And THAT is why you don't drop acid at a cacti farm."