Open Mouth, Insert Foot

My phone rang as I was driving to work this morning. It was Mother, of course. I JUST left her so she knows I'm not there yet...and she would never put me in jeopardy by distracting me while driving so it must be an emergency, right????

Mother: "How do you turn your Christmas lights on?"

Me: (Really???) "You plug them in."

Mother: "They ARE plugged in!"

Me: "Apparently not, since they AREN'T on!"

Mother: "Hey! Be nice. Today's my birthday."

Me: "Hey! Birthdays are no excuse for ignorance. Wait, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not saying you're ignor-"

Mother: CLICK.

Well, shit. Happy birthday, Mom!