Stress Sucks, Meds Rock

I've had a LOT of stress recently (mostly due to the whole unemployed-so-now-forced-to-drink-Keystone-Light-situation but now exacerbated by the whole I'm-not-paying-my-credit-cards-so-I-can-pay-my-mortgage situation) so a doctor* suggested I take something to "just take the edge off."

*It doesn't matter what kind of doctor he is...but he is a board-certified doctor who has stuff to "just take the edge off."

I was given a little white pill. It was so tiny that I wondered how it could make me feel better! Turns out it was called Ativan. Yeah.

YEAH.

I'm not a pill popper and had vaguely heard of Ativan but still wasn't too sure what it was. But MAN I needed some relief so I was game.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. There was a raucous party at my house that night! And by raucous party, I mean I was HIGH for 6 1/2 hours. CRAZY, PARTY OF ONE!!!!! Then I crashed. For fifteen hours.

But when I woke up...it was beautiful. The birds were singing, a soft breeze was blowing through my window, the forest animals were making cute little forest animal sounds that were carried on that soft breeze blowing through my window...it was bloody wonderful! I felt like GODDAMN SLEEPING BEAUTY! I WAS FRIKKIN' REFRESHED!

Lessons learned:

1. Little innocuous white pills can very well be seeds of the devil.
2. Especially little innocuous white pills given to you by someone who refers to himself as "Dr. Dude".
3. I should probably rely on something more long term to regulate my stress.
4. Trying to climb an entertainment center to kill a water bug while high on Ativan will leave ugly bruises and break three shelves.