Racism and Other Stuff

So apparently Paula Deen has gone and lost her job because back in 1985 she said the word "nigger". And yes, I'm spelling the word out because I think we can handle it.

We all at Riches to Rags know I'm not a huge Paula Deen fan. But this has become a big news item so OF COURSE I feel the need to contribute.

Paula Deen was raised in the South. Most white people from the South were raised referring to black people as niggers. Was it right? Hell no but ALL ethnicities have racist names attributed to them (e.g., I'm a cracker and my kid is half beaner.)  But we have to remember that people from the South are wayyyyy behind us more-educated people in many ways (my theory is it's because they lost The War so are trying to stay in their 1865 ways.) Again, it's not right but it's a fact. Bless their hearts...but they're truly behind the rest of the world in acceptance and political correctness and well...everything (and no, I don't have facts and figures. But I did date a dude from the South in college and LET ME TELL YOU...I'm right.)

So here's my story and why I feel for Paula.

I was raised in a medium-sized city by a woman who was raised in a racist tiny "sunset town". There were black kids in my schools and neighborhoods so black people weren't an issue for me. Fast forward to my teen years. My friends and I were all of 17 years old when one night we decided to get some Boone's Farm and just get silly. We ended up at a black friend's apartment complex and just went buckwild!

"OH MAH GOSH, how much fun would it be to knock on people's doors and run???? SO. MUCH. FUN." Afterward our friends at the apartment are all like, "Dude, what the hell are you girls up to???" And I'm all giggling and I say, "Hahahaha!!! We nigg....." And then I stopped. Because what I was going to say was, "Hahahaha!!! We nigger knocked these people's doors!" But it hit me. The word "nigger". Holy shit! This was a phrase I grew up with. You knock, you run, it was nigger knocking. I never knew it as anything else...but I knew right then how wrong it was.

To this day, I have no clue why it was called that. It was something taught to me as a child. A phrase of hate - but it was so ingrained in me that I didn't even know it was wrong until I was 17 years old.

Again, not excusing Paula and her pathetic apologetic videos but I unfortunately understand where she comes from and how hate can be so embedded in people that they don't even know it's wrong.

(However, I wouldn't excuse anyone now for their hatred - remember that southern boy I dated in college? We tried to pick it back up again a few years ago but I realized he was still as racist and hateful as before - and I couldn't stomach it.)

It's 2013. There's no room for hate, whether against people of a different color, people of a different sexual orientation - or hell, OF ANYONE. Hate sucks. Get over it. I have no room for small-minded people who can't handle anyone different than they are.

Hopefully Paula has learned that the hate she was raised with was wrong. I think she has. Now she just needs a good PR person.

Random Trivia

Honey is made from BEE VOMIT???????

Not sure how I'm going to process that.

I need some time alone.

Trivia (and Motherhood) Win

Let me just say I am SO EFFING STOKED because I just won a trivia game because I was the only player to get ALL questions correct on identifying which given name is A) a Mexican state or B) a Star Wars planet.

One might surmise, "Oh, Rags is a Star Wars fan? I surely didn't see that one coming!" Nay, nay children - no worries. I am NOT a Star Wars. However, I am finally grateful I experienced 2 1/2 years of TORTURE listening to Mouth drone on and on (and on and on) about that movie - so much so that I wanted to SHOVE HOT SKEWERS IN MY EARS just to stop the blah-blah-Luke-Skywalker-Tatooine-blah-blah-Darth Vader-Hoth-Naboo-blah-blah crap I endured for-EVER.

[Okay...in order not to alienate my Star Wars fans, I watched the movie when I was like 7 years old, mildly enjoying it mostly because I dug Princess Leia's bun thingys (which I totally tried to copy as a child - and once or twice at Halloween as an adult.) But I just never understood the utter fascination (read: obsession) The Kid had with this stupid movie! (I've since learned it's a "guy thing.")]

Anyhoo, I thanked Mouth for torturing me - or rather, enlightening me - about Star Wars because thanks to him I won a meaningless trivia game.

Which is about all I got going for me right now so BOOYAH BITCHES!!!!!!

Things That Make You Go Hmmm....

Hmmm.....something's missing. What is it? Oh, this is gonna bug me all night.

WAIT. Got it.

Me so horny! Me love you long time!!!

Phew. Thank gawd it wasn't something WHOLLY inappropriate to put on Grandma's car or anything.

Dinner with Strangers

I was recently asked whom I'd like to meet if given the chance. I had to think about it...so many choices! I mean, seriously- we got the reality garbage I love (my pick would be Caroline Manzo of Real Housewives of New Jersey) and the reality not-so-garbage I love (I'd pick Spike Medelsohn of Top Chef). But real people? Okay.

I wish Grace Kelly was still alive. She'd be my number one. But her spoiled daughter ruined that one. Thanks, Stephanie!

Ouch. Too soon?

Anyhoo, I'd pick Lauren Bacall. She's the epitome of style and grace to me. We witnessed her falling in love with Bogie in "To Have and Have Not", where she taught Steve to whistle: "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and...blow." Mee-OW! She knew how to be sexy without taking off her clothes or being vulgar. Love that era.

But Lauren probably wouldn't want to meet Rags. Rags can be a tad vulgar.

So my second pick is Jenny McCarthy. We're both from Illinois, we're both GORGEOUS (okay, okay...she has a little edge over me) and we're both funny as hell. At least we think we are.

Whom would you like to meet???

Reality Check

Mother and I just got into a heated argument because she locks her front door WITH THE DOOR KNOB LOCK THINGY. Dude. It's 2013. Why do they even still HAVE door lock thingies on door knobs???

One might ask, doesn't the poor thing have a deadbolt? Why YES, she does! But she still locks the door knob whenever she leaves. I, personally, have busted into her apartment no less than three times in the last two years for various reasons - thus proving her door knob lock is a JOKE. I mean, doesn't the woman watch 'The First 48'? There are crazy people out there. Like me!

And this is the same woman I entrust to get my son to and from school every day. Did I mention how two weeks ago her car broke down on the way to school and some strange dude pulled over and offered a ride to Mother and Mouth? And HOW SHE TOOK IT??? Good thing she had a cell phone on her to call any of the probably 20 relatives or neighbors we have here in our small town...right?

*end sarcasm*

Jesus. No wonder I drink so much.....

Ancient Chinese Secret

This is how my coworker eats her french fries.

She's from China and is very dainty. She unabashedly wears fur and confidently wears black pants with brown foxhide boots. She snacks on bamboo and brings her own lunch - which usually looks (and smells) like dead worms or shriveled up testicles. Her fave drink is whiskey and green tea...go figure.

We have to explain words and phrases we say, like "get a backbone!" or "get rid of that guy - he's desperate and creepy!" or "don't be a tease!" I especially enjoyed hearing my coworkers explain the phrase "what a douchebag!" to her.

She's a very sweet, unassuming girl...so it was quite a surprise when we found out about her black market business where she employs people here in America to buy Apple products so she can sell them in China at a 300% profit. She told us she wants to shoot something - ANYTHING -  because hunting is illegal in China. And she doesn't understand why we CAN'T JUST BRIBE the U.S. government to get our project filed with the SEC and be done with it!

She scares me a little.

I think she's a ninja.

And I want to be JUST like her when I grow up!